The Last Few Weeks

So, let me get right to it.

These past few weeks I have been, to put it mildly, struggling. Those of you who know me well will know that my personality has a slight tendancy towards depressive behaviour. This was definitely manifesting itself these past few weeks.

I was getting into a vicious circle at work which was getting rather worrying. Irritatingly, as an intelligent man, I knew this, and was still unable to stop it. I was overwhelmed and increasingly stressed over work, which resulted in mild insomnia. This meant I was performing worse due to tiredness; the answer to which was coffee. Caffeine is not only a great stimulant, but it also causes stress. It also means you have difficulties sleeping. As you can see, here was my circle.

Another of my irritating tendencies is my slight obsessiveness. This can be a great help in reaching a goal, and has undoubtedly helped push me in many ways. It's why I do well at problem solving. However, when I had things at work that I really needed to switch off from to give myself a break, I couldn't. I was still obsessing over them, and as of such I never really 'left' work. This also did not help.

Last week was particularly bad. Mainly because I was starting to realise all of the above and was unable to stop it. Force of sheer will can overcome many things, but that wasn't helping! As I was struggling, I knew my performance at work was getting worse; as a result, I felt the need to work longer hours, take less breaks, in an effort to get things done. It doesn't take a genius to work out this didn't do much to change things.

However, this past weekend has helped. A great deal. It's given me a chance to unwind. To catch up with people and spend time with friends and not with my head in work. The distance was a great mental break. I felt better, and I felt refreshed when I came back. Thanks to all for your help and support, even those who didn't know it - it was of immense value to me.

I've also switched to decaf.