Who Is This For, Anyway?

I was going to spend this evening making some passing comments about snow and cold, but instead my blogging attention was distracted by a truly entertaining article in the Evening Standard I read on the delayed train home.

Essentially, it was a lover's guide for Christmas. I have no idea who these theoretical lovers are, but it seemed like a thoroughly bizarre chest of advice. Here are some of my favourite titbits as to how it doesn't work for me:

- Don't guess her size! Look at some discarded garments discreetly while she showers, etc! Okay ... if I kept Chrissi's spare clothes, let alone underwear around, that would be extremely odd. Not the thoughtful gesture it suggests. Count that as a no ...
- (In reference to, say, lingerie shopping) Ask her best friends what she may like that she's gone shopping with! I'm wondering what Carisa's reaction would be if I were to ask her that. It'd be somewhere between baffled bemusement and moral outrage, I'm sure. It's almost tempting to ask just to see the reaction ...
- What's saucy not sleazy? £200 knickers! I'm sorry, how much? For underwear that there practically isn't anything of anyway? I'll pass, thanks, and spend my money on something with greater value-for-money, like a chocolate teapot.
- Don't be a cheapskate, gifts money can't buy are pointless! Wait a minute, aren't those the ones we're always taught are more romantic? Except at Christmas, where commercialism rules? What's that logic again?
- What about sleeping together at her parents' house? Be wary in case she is extra loud to prove she's her own woman! Erm ... okay ... I have absolutely no idea what that is about, to be brutally honest.

As said, an odd compendium of advice. I think I'll follow my instinct rather than this misguided 'how to' tips collection.