A Theory On Terrorism

In a surreal discussion, like I often am, I was discussing earlier how it's strange that you never really get terrorism in cold places. It's all the hot places where you get terrorism. Do you get terrorism in Canada? In Greenland? Iceland? Alaska? No. You get terrorism in warm places.

This logically presents a second query - is it a mere coincidence that as global warming has taken effect over the last decade or so, terrorist acts have increased dramatically in frequency and scale? I would say no. It's got to be a correlation.

This, of course, creates some interesting and not at all random results. The most obvious is that the fossil fuel lobby, especially the oil lobby, are now assisting the terrorists. This means Halliburton are a terrorist organisation. "Well, so what?" you say, "we already knew THAT". But, now we can prove it. All the Americans driving their huge SUVs are clearly contributing to terrorism.

Of course, what this doesn't register is the impact this could have for the environmental movement, and the green lobby. Tying this all together, you could easily persuade people to cut down on their carbon emissions by invoking the dreadful bogeyman of terrorism.

For example:

"bin Laden WANTS YOU ... to leave your lights on even when you're not in the room!"
"bin Laden WANTS YOU ... to turn UP your thermostat!"
"bin Laden WANTS YOU ... to leave your car idling when you go into the store!"
"bin Laden WANTS YOU ... to mix recycleable goods with garbage so that none of it can be recycled!"
"bin Laden WANTS YOU ... to ignore fuel efficency numbers when you buy your NEW car!"

Well, it's worth a try. Nothing else will really cause people to view global warming as a serious problem facing us now and not in some hazy future.