Flashback Four: Terminal Decline

So, believe it or not, last month when I was on holiday I had the misfortune for my flight back to land at terminal five. Sorry, I mean Terminal Five, as it has now become known; the sort of phrase which should be uttered in a similar tone to that which you'd use to announce a B-movie horror film. Much mayhem would surely ensue.

It started badly. My flight was delayed by three hours on departure, due to a previous delay on the incoming flight. This allowed me another three hours with my girlfriend and a chance for a nice meal as opposed to being force-fed airplane food. So far, it's proving a clear disaster.

But wait! Surely the sting is in the tail?

We come into landing, and as we're about 100m altitude and just about at the end of our descent, we shoot back up again because the preceding plane is lost and has stopped in the middle of the runway to ask for directions. So thirteen minutes later, we're on the ground once more.

Surely this is the start of my worries. I get through the state-of-the-art gate, immigration, passport control and similar. I must also say that the terminal itself is a beautiful building.

But now I approached the baggage hall, where surely disaster would befall me.

Yet within five minutes, my bag arrived. I went through customs, and out into the arrivals hall - a mere fourty minutes after landing.

Quite frankly, were it not for the newspaper bombardment I'd have thought that Terminal 5 was a great, efficient system that was a drastic improvement over normal airport waits.

Flashback Three: Live Comedy

Although it now seems like a long time ago, one of my first days in America with Chrissi - I arrived on the Friday, and I'm fairly sure it was the following evening - we went to see a live comedian. Well, several.

And this is the secret that they don't tell you when you see a stand-up comedian on TV or DVD; there are warm up acts. And they're damn funny too. So you're always already laughing before you even get to the main act.

I truly recommend a stand-up comedy night to anyone. The main act in this case was Gabriel Inglesias, who has apparantly come somewhere near the top of Comic Idol or whatever the show is. Anyway, he was very funny. But for me some of the warm up acts were great as well. I can't remember many or really any of the jokes - but they were damn funny.

Learn from this.

Flashback Two: Easter Weather

Who can remember three-four weeks back to the Easter weekend? That weekend when the weather went crazy. Well, it was a bank holiday, so what can you expect but snow, sleet, hail, rain, winds, the occasional spot of sunshine - it's all part of the event.

Well, I for one don't remember a bit of it. I was sitting in California, revelling in the sunshine. It was 30 degrees celcius at least. While others were bemoaning the rain, I was on a boat in the Pacific Ocean dolphin-watching and whale-watching in glorious sunshine.

Not to rub it in!

Flashback One: Environment Doomed

As I didn't provide any updates while I was in America, I'm now going to do it belatedly in the form of flashbacks. This is an awesome new gimmick of mine.

A lot of us here have been seeing the green agenda pushed more and more. I think it's a good point - recycling what you can, walking short journeys, using public transport, turning off electrical appliances to save energy and what have you. I've been quite an advocate myself, in a quiet non-preaching way.

However, after my recent trip to the States, I have come to a realisation - what is the point? You travel down the freeway in Orange County - that most challenging of terrain, after all - and every other vehicle, no exaggeration, is either a truck or an SUV. A 'small' car is the average four-door saloon. I hate to think what they'd think of a mini, smart car or equivalent, it'd be a shock.

The end result of this is that I'm wondering what the point is. No matter what effort we make, people wasting their time in SUVs and trucks when they have no reason to be will dwarf the impact of those few people making the effort.

It's tragic, but true.