I've tried three times to put down what I think onto the metaphorical paper that is here, and no time has been satisfactory. So I will be brief and attempt in doing so to avoid this.
Life is complicated. We always think everyone else's lives seem to be working fine, without knowing any of their inner workings. We pass someone in the street, chatting happily, and think that everything must be perfect for them. We look at ourselves and see only faults, look at others and see only their good characteristics. Everyone has a mask, to some extent, behind which their true feelings are hidden. To some that mask is obvious. To others it isn't even perceptible.
So many small things can contribute to make a big thing. Big things can feed off each other, making everything seem worse than it is. How to stop this cycle? If I was to know that, then I'd be a lot more help to others and to myself. How to control it? To keep everything in perspective. To remember how each of the big things is in fact a small thing that has been enlarged by your worries. That the huge things are big things in a similar form. We fear of doing things that appear incorrect, of making mistakes, of appearing stupid or selfconcious.
Is there even such a thing as self-control? What is it that it means; someone who can control themselves? Or learn to understand themselves, where they appear in control because that which bothers everyone else doesn't bother them. To know what is big and what is small. And act appropriately. This is easier said than done. But it must be possible.
4 comments:
Are you ok Andy...even when small things seem big...its not always a bad thing to be affected by them. If you ever want to talk etc...you know where I am!
Same here Andy...
I know the old cliche that a problem shared is a problem halved is probably a load of bull... but it does help, speaking from experience as a top class moaner... sometimes when things seem hard and difficult, simply talking about them can help, and make you feel less alone.
You know we are all here for you... just as you have been when we have had our little upsets over the last few months! You are a great friend, and I hope that you feel you can come to us when you need someone to talk to, just as we can you.
This is a pretty long comment, so I'll go now. Just know that we're here... with a neverending store of cliches, just for you. x
Its not really possible. Not to the extent that you'd want it to be. Its human nature to make mountains out of molehills. Its what we do best. Our minds immediately lock onto the what ifs and could bes. And as much as some "optimistic" people put on this brave face to the world, even their mind is screaming that they are going to fail.
Some people just bottle it up, and they appear self-controlled and perfect. But they are probably worse off than the rest of us. Because that perfection only makes them incredibly alone. And I feel sorry for the people that strive for that, because its really just not a good place to be.
The best way to control yourself, and your problems, is sharing the burden. A lot of small things make suddenly feel like a lot of big problems. But they all get a lot smaller again when you share it with others. And its honestly not a load of bull. (Coming from a scientific standpoint, there have been several studies that show talking with your friends/etc. actually improve brain activity as well as secretions that will cause your mood to lighten. So basically you get happier, and you can think out your problems better).
So thats my I've got a psych degree and I'm going to throw this babble at you when its 7:30 am, feel free to ignore my ramblings.
hmmm almost poetic....
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